Relationships undergo a plethora of ups and downs. However, when the people involved are healthy and willing to take the relationship forward, it creates lesser challenges. But sometimes, relationships can be toxic as well. It can affect us physically, mentally and emotionally. One of the toxic traits in a relationship is gaslighting. Gaslighting, as explained by Psychologist Nicole LePera, is, “a pattern of behavior where a person denies our reality over a period of weeks, months, or years. Healing from gaslighting is about reconnecting to ourselves. Standing grounded in our values. Setting clear boundaries and learning to validate our own life experiences.”
Nicole further explained gaslighting as a way of denying the reality, thereby creating lack of self-trust in people, and making them have the feeling of being crazy. She further noted down a few types of gaslighting:
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Chronic lying: It is the pattern when a person continuously keeps lying to the other person, and when caught, attacks the character instead of owning the lie. However, with time, people can guess the reality of the situation.
Chronic blame: In case of challenges or faced with a problem, the person keeps attacking the other person, instead of taking accountability of the situation at hand.
Narrative creating: It’s a way of conjuring up an imaginary way of narrating a situation, which is extremely different from how the situation went down. This type of gaslighting is usually done by a person to portray them as the victim, and to question the sanity of the other person.
Chronic objecting: This is the conversation going in circles when the person starts to deviate from the issue at hand and attempts to throw the other person off the course.
Reputation smearing: This is done to ruin the reputation of the person to others, to get sympathy or to get them on their side.