We have been married for 6 years now. We have always shared a good rapport and were great friends from the beginning. Yes, we valued our friendship a lot more than the tag of being a married couple. For most of us, love starts with friendship and so did mine. But with time, in between the heavy office work and household chores, we both lost our spark. We stopped spending time like before and slowly romance and intimacy got stripped off our relationship.
I am a sexually active woman and have always loved sex. Treating sex as art has had its own perks as my husband and I have had some amazing sex sessions that ended in happy orgasms and sweaty nights. Of course, I loved being intimate with him. But now, dealing with sudden changes of zero communication, we both hardly even touch each other. I tried a great deal to talk to him about what was wrong with us but every single time, he replied, “It’s just work. We both are probably very busy.” My husband failed to see my needs.
This went on for more than half a year and as our seventh anniversary neared, we both had almost stopped talking to each other except for the essentials. I hadn’t had sex for about eight months now and it was driving me insane. My sexual urges turned so high that I had to resort to touching and pleasing myself; something I had never done while being married to my husband. But I guess, that’s what happens when intimacy is lost in a marriage.
So, one night while I was drinking my sorrows away with my girls at a bar, I happened to cross a gentleman who looked interested in me. He was dark, tall and handsome and through the blurry lens of alcohol in my system, I felt a fire light within me, yearning for a good time. As my friends drank and gossiped about their lives, I slipped into the counter area where the man was standing with a glass in his hand. I removed my wedding ring. I was drunk. But I knew what I was doing.
As the night unfolded, I found myself writhing under this man in pleasure as we kissed and had sex. It felt liberating, refreshing and…guilty. The feeling of pleasure was immense but I felt guilt tripping all over my mind, probably because I was still drunk. I cheated on my husband willingly and the truth was going to eat me out alive.
As I staggered back to my home, I felt lies on the tip of my tongue because I needed to clear my head first, understand why I did that. And as the day passed, I knew that what I did was because of the lack of communication and intimacy between us but I felt responsible for it and equally angry with my husband for ignoring our declining intimacy. The consequence led me to cheat. While it is not a justification for what I did but those reading my story must realise that it is important to communicate and address an issue rather than leaving it unattended. While it is easy to fall in love, it is equally easy to come out of it too! Do not underestimate the fragility of a relationship.