Lies we need to stop teaching boys about sex – Times of India


Due to the existing societal structures and gender biases, boys and girls are taught different things about sex. These teachings are often reflected when they grow up to be men and women. While for men, having sex for the first time is no less than a big accomplishment, it is all about “losing” virginity in the case of women. Such opposing constructs are a result of how we perceive sex as a society, and what we teach boys and girls about it. This often results in men feeling privileged when it comes to matters like sex and women feeling shy and underconfident in expressing their likes and desires. Thus, it is important to lay the correct foundation when it comes to sex. Here are some lies we need to stop teaching boys about sex.

1. Sex is all about penetration
The common concept of virginity and sex is too narrow and limiting. It is all about penis-in-vagina penetration. However, this excludes oral and anal sex. Furthermore, it is also not inclusive of the sexual experiences of LGBTQ people. Boys need to be taught that sex means so much more to different people than just penetration.

2. Boys can’t be raped
Rape is a very underreported crime regardless of gender. In addition, rape and sexual violence against men and boys are even more underreported. This is because of the misconception that “men always want sex.” As per experts, male victims are forced to believe that there must be something “not right” with them if they do not enjoy the attack.

3. Porn is a great way to learn about sex
It’s important to teach boys that sex depicted in porn is not how it is supposed to be. They must be well aware of the fact that porn is a performance and not an instruction manual. Watching a lot of it won’t make them good at sex!

4. Sex is over when a man finishes
This is one of the primary reasons for sexually frustrated relationships. Men often believe that sex ends when they achieve orgasm, irrespective of whether their partner is satisfied or not. This is highly selfish and inconsiderate of them, and they need to be educated about it as young boys.

5. Sex should last for hours
The over-inspiration from porn often results in boys thinking that sex should last for hours. However, this is not true at all. If sex was as long as it is portrayed in porn, it would be a rather painful and uncomfortable experience.

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